Don’t Do It

As featured in Lucky Bag: The Victoria Wood Song Book, 1^st edition published 1984 by Methuen, ISBN 0-413-56140-2 (hardback), 0-413-56150-X (paperback).

I first sang this song with Julie in Wood and Walters. She walked about and I did the harmony. She sang it in B flat but I do it in C because I'm two inches taller. We wore suits and someone wrote in and said she looked like Harold Wilson. Somebody else said I looked like a bag of laundry. It was my sister.

'Don't do it' is quite a hard song to remember because all the choruses begin with the same words. It's easy to muddle them up, and then you've got people taking overdoses before they've even got miserable.

1.
She married early. Was the thing to do.
Smiled for the photos like a dream come true.
He said he'd love her for ever. As if!
It's a shame he never promised not to bore her stiff.
Only the lonely would ever dispute what I'm saying.
Take it or leave it, you'd better believe what I'm saying.
It is a crime to be stuck by the side of a person
You don't even like. Tell me what could be worse than
A life full of nothing?
It's stupid. it's painful.
Don't do it.

2.
Her heart sank when she saw him. He smelled of smoke.
She knew every movement. She'd heard every joke.
They made love with the light off, and nothing said.
And the thought she could change things never entered her head.
Only the lonely would ever dispute what I'm saying.
Take it or leave, it you'd better believe what I'm saying.
Why should you miss out on laughter, on joy and elation?
Unless you are counting on reincarnation,
It's one life and one chance.
It's easily ruined.
Don't do it.

3.

*
She had friends round for coffee, nearly every day.
She was smiling and desperate, but didn't like to say.
Counted pills in a bottle, and dared herself.
Heard his car stop in the driveway, put them back on the shelf.
Only the lonely would ever dispute what I'm saying.
Take it or leave it, you'd better believe what I'm saying.
Why bother smiling in public and privately scheming?
You're better off shouting and kicking and screaming.
It's so soft to give in, to give up,
To go under.
Don't do it.

(Repeat from *)

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1.	She married early. Was the thing to do. Smiled for the photos like a dream come true. He said he'd love her for ever. As if! It's a shame he never promised not to bore her stiff. Only the lonely would ever dispute what I'm saying. Take it or leave it, you'd better believe what I'm saying. It is a crime to be stuck by the side of a person You don't even like. Tell me what could be worse than A life full of nothing? It's stupid. it's painful. Don't do it.
2.	Her heart sank when she saw him. He smelled of smoke. She knew every movement. She'd heard every joke. They made love with the light off, and nothing said. And the thought she could change things never entered her head. Only the lonely would ever dispute what I'm saying. Take it or leave, it you'd better believe what I'm saying. Why should you miss out on laughter, on joy and elation? Unless you are counting on reincarnation, It's one life and one chance. It's easily ruined. Don't do it.
3. *	She had friends round for coffee, nearly every day. She was smiling and desperate, but didn't like to say. Counted pills in a bottle, and dared herself. Heard his car stop in the driveway, put them back on the shelf. Only the lonely would ever dispute what I'm saying. Take it or leave it, you'd better believe what I'm saying. Why bother smiling in public and privately scheming? You're better off shouting and kicking and screaming. It's so soft to give in, to give up, To go under. Don't do it. (Repeat from )*