As featured in Lucky Bag: The Victoria Wood Song Book, 1st edition published 1984 by Methuen, ISBN 0-413-56140-2 (hardback), 0-413-56150-X (paperback).
This is a little number Brecht and Weill forgot to write. It was inspired by seeing two girls in belted raincoats and plenty of lipstick perform a non-stop medley of Brecht songs. It was the sort of evening in the theatre where you find yourself wondering what your tea-towels would come out like if you dyed them.
She would say,
Please, I want a lover,
Someone to cover me with kisses,
God sent her William from Wembley.
He was into self-assembly.
But she said,
No, I want a poet,
Whose love will show itself to me,
God sent her Tom, an intellectual,
In bed, quite ineffectual.
So she said,
Please, send someone hunky
He must be chunky with a tan
God sent her Dave, whose wonderful physique
Resulted from a six day week
The lonely girl came off the pill,
Gave up that stuff called Clearasil.
© Victoria Wood, 1983
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